Reflections on My First Year Of Motherhood

On Monday our little family reached a huge milestone. Our baby boy turned 1 and officially turned into a toddler (although he will always be my baby boy), mom and dad survived the first year and we did a pretty good job; and for the 3 of us a full 365 days of beautiful family bonding! 

When I gave birth to Jack I became the person he most depended on. It was a role I was so grateful to become but I was filled with uncertainty. It is still a difficult role and I do have a lot of anxiety on to whether I am doing the best for Jack. 

My pregnancy was fantastic, besides the hernia I formed at month 5. I loved carrying around my little angel. With each movement or flutter my heart grew. I never felt alone knowing my baby was growing strong inside me. Each sonogram, scan and hearing his heartbeat I dreamed that the pregnancy would go speed up so we could hold my sweet angel. If I only knew how fast it would all happen. 

And on January 5 my water broke a week early and my labor went by in a flash. Before I knew it all the pain had subsided, the doctor yelled out "It's a BOY" (we didn't find our what we were having) and Jack was being lifted onto my chest crying. The second I spoke to him calling him "my sweet baby boy"all those little cries stopped and he was content just laying with me. My little angel had arrived. I felt like the grinch as my heart grew about 3 sizes that day. 

Although my first year as a mom has come to a close, and I I reflect on the last year, there is so much I have learned but much more is yet to learn. While I'm still pretty new at this I thought I would share the lessons I've learned with moms who are just starting this journey into mommy hood. I hope these can help to encourage you. 

I've learned to love my body. I learned how to love my husband as a good daddy! I learned how to be a more patient person and forgive myself when it was difficult. I learned to breastfeed in the car, in the doctor's office, pump every where else and pump while holding a sleeping baby. I learned how to pee while holding a baby and washing hands and dishes while holding a baby. I learned there was poop; so much poop. I learned that being covered in some kinds spit up is very normal. 

I learned to ask for help when help is needed. It was needed! I learned that people are eager to help when it comes to new moms and new babies. I learned that brushing my teeth at 4pm wasn't as disgusting as I thought it would be. I learned maternity leave goes by way to fast. I learned how to make baby food and draw the line when I couldn't do it all. 

I learned that plans change. Babies can be absolutely perfect but a diagnosis can surprise you and turn your world upside down. I learned to trust doctors and nutritionists. I learned how to be a mom of a child with an illness that has no cure. I learned how to use a nebulizer and chest PT. I learned it's not the hand I wanted to be dealt in life but we play anyway! 

I learned that I don't need make up to go out. I learned that painting your nails isn't important and you  can never have enough yoga paints and Old Navy tank tops!

I learned that you can find support in unexpected places like an Instagram mom group where we can lift one another up! I've learned to celebrate little victories when they arrive. 

I've learned how little sleep I can survive on. I've learned how a smile from my sweet boy can make every bit of my soul happy. 

I've learned to love wildly! I've learned to sacrifice a part of myself each minute of each day. I've learned that I could miss my boy the minute I put him to sleep. 

I learned true HAPPINESS and JOY!

It's been the best year and I can't wait to see all the amazing things yet to come.