On The Mend...

My body is healing and so is my heart. Yesterday the baby that was growing in my fallopian tube was removed to save my life. I arrived at the hospital very early and was prepped for the first surgery of the day. As I laid in the hospital bed waiting for the nurse it was the loneliest experience of my life. They had my mom and husband wait in the waiting room. I had the loveliest nurse who sat with me and comforted me as I cried. She reminded me I needed time to heal. My doctor reminded us what was at stake during surgery. For the first time I could see the anxiety and fear in my husbands face, absolutely heart wrenching.

As they wheeled me in to the OR all I could think of was the terrible things that could happen during surgery. They next thing I knew I was barely awake, crying and telling the nurse my belly hurt. It was all over and I could hear my doctor say everything went great and they were able to save my tube. I didn't know if I had just dreamed it so I asked my nurse and Brian later on. Brian told me once he heard the words he was immediately relieved but I still see the stress and sadness on his face. I am so glad my mom and Brian were there to comfort one another yesterday. 

Recovery went better than I expected but I guess morphine and percocets will do that to you. I tried to stay as positive as possible. Remembered all of your prayers, well wishes, messages and loving emails as I  went through recovery. I am in a lot of pain but I know the physical pain will get better. Although yesterday I felt relieved today I feel the sadness of what has truly happened. My new friend Casey emailed me a loving message saying she finds comfort knowing that our little ones are in heaven and waiting for us. I try and find comfort in that. I hope that my little one and my aunt have found one another and they are watching over us.

As I recover I will try my hardest to get back to real life. Hoping the sorrow and the pity with fade from other's faces when I tell them. I just want to smile again.

My family and I thank you all for your prayers, well wishes and positive vibes. I have looked at your comments and emails and it has filled my heart with so much comfort and love.
-K

Simply the BEST get well card from my nephew. 

He said it was a happy rainbow fish because I had a boo-boo in my belly.