Save Your Drama For Ya Momma and Not Your Mom Group

How 1990's is this post title? Just thinking of it I can't help but think of Maury or the Ricki Lake show! So dating myself with this! Either way it was the perfect segway into my post. I'm still kind of in disbelief as to what happened in a mom group I recently joined.

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I was invited into a local mom group via Facebook by a friend who I have known for 10 years. First off the group seemed like fun. Moms would create events for local activities that moms and little ones could participate in. I loved the idea of the events and it makes it easy to see what is available in our community. Most of the moms stay at home so you can imagine all the activities take place during my work week. It was difficult for me to attend many of the activities as my work schedule stinks during the week. I'm off 1 day a week I am off to take Jack to his specialist over an hour away and I really can't commit to anything.

A few weekends ago I was happy to be able to attend an event in a local park to visit Santa and support the local food pantry. Although I decided to attend the event for the safety of myself and my son I don't RSVP to any Facebook type event. In my opinion I don't trust people knowing exactly where and when I'm going to be places. Other moms feel fine with it and some others actually post there address for playdates. Not my scene but to each there own. The safety of Jack is most important.

Fast forward to a few days after this event. A mom posts on the group that she thinks it is important to get rid of members who "refuse" to attend events. She demanded that mothers must attend 2 events in 1 month in order to stay in the group. She requested moms respond so I did. I made mention that as a working mom who doesn't get home to 7:30 at night it was difficult to adhere to the new guidelines. I also made mention that the winter and indoor activities are not my first choice as Jack can get sick very easily. I stated my case in hopes that moms would understand other moms and their difficulty to commit whether it's their job, illness or even as simple as nap times.

What comes next was quite a shock. A mom (an active group mom) responds to my comment is the most rude and inconsiderate way. She stated (I wish I could have screen shot it but the admins deleted the post.)  in some similar verbiage: I'm going to sound rude and I don't care. Stop making excuses and show up! I was pissed! How dare she be so rude? How dare she make so light of my life and the things that hold me back from attending things with my son. Naturally I wanted to go back at her and not care if I was being rude but I didn't. I held my head high and ignored almost everything that came after. Apparently, other moms didn't react well to her nasty comment towards me and proceeded to leave the group. I was also tempted to leave the group. Shortly after the admin explained that rules of the group would not change. Clearly, they get it.  A lot of members left and I'm toying with the idea of it still. Although I like the idea of knowing events in our local area I have no time for high school drama or moms who are not supportive of other moms. Isn't that the idea, moms supporting other moms? I really buy into the "It takes a village" ideal. It really, truly does! Moms should build up other moms rather than tear them down no matter the circumstance.

I guess I just needed to get that off my chest.

Am I being over sensitive?

20 Things To Do Before Baby Arrives

I love the blog world and Pinterest for preparing me in many ways for our first born. Of course I was also lucky enough to be the last of my friends to have children so I had lots of advice. I wanted to share some of my own best advice that I found most helpful. Some were tips from the inter webs, friends and some of my own. I gave birth during the nastiest winter and getting out was not pleasant for any one never mind a postpartum mommy and newborn. You learn as you go.  What I have learned is no mother's journey is the same. Each one of us has a unique ride called motherhood. Enjoy it as you go because it goes so fast. Hope some of these hints can help.

Being prepared was key!

Here are just some of the best tips I can give.

Find a pediatrician! We were lucky to have tons of suggestions from our closest friends. I actually put it out in a Facebook post asking local friends who they used. The funny thing is all but 2 friends suggested the same doctors office. Its a family practice and most of my friends grew up seeing the father and now they take their own children there With Jack's health issues it is extremely important for us to love his doctors and we do!

Get familiar with your breast pump. I did not do this. I didn't even take it out of the box before having Jack. I waited till he was home before my crash course in all things Medela. I did regret it. It sounds crazy but I was a little afraid of it. I called a friend who had been an exclusive pumper with her son for advice. Jack refused to latch so we had no other choice. I've learned it was best to do the bare minimum when returning home with baby.

Purchase milk storage bags. I mentioned the best were Target Up and Up brand. They are much cheaper than most and in my opinion much sturdier. Obviously this is for mommas who have a breast pump. Jack was jaundice and had a terrible time latching on so using a pump was key for us.

Make a bunch of freezer meals. In the weeks leading up to Jack's birth we started making meals to store in our freezer. When my mom came to visit she made tons of meals to also keep. Meals that we found easy to freeze were a turkey with all the fixings, baked ziti, beef stew, chili and chicken soup. Another suggestion is picking up some extra tupperware. We didn't and ran out to the store with baby once we had tons of meals and nothing to put them in.

Pack your bags and leave them in a smart spot. I had our bags packed by week 29 after the doctors told us Jack was head down and pretty low. It didn't help that I forgot a bunch of stuff. You can read the post on the on what we packed here. I packed 2 bags; one for my husband and one for mom and baby. I left all of them at my parent's house. They only live 5 miles from our hospital so it made the most sense for us. I have heard it's a good idea to leave them in your vehicles.

Disinfect everything you think you may need. Make sure all the breast pump pieces are disinfected. You will need them. Also, try and disinfect a few bottles and pacifiers. I swear by the Medela microwave steam bags too. Things are conveniently disinfected in 3 minutes!

Visit your hospital, know the rules and protocols. Our hospital is a small community hospital. The front doors lock at 10pm and after that all patients must go through the ER. I didn't tour our hospital because I had an emergency visit at 29 weeks. I met a majority of our nurses and saw the rooms while we were there.

Take Classes. Again, we didn't take classes and I did regret it. I thought the tips from friends and family would be enough. If there is one thing I learned from pregnancy and labor is you can never have enough information but don't let them take over your brain.

Pick out a place where you will purchase your nurses gifts.  See if they will deliver too.  We ordered a tray of cookies from a local bakery. They were nice enough to deliver locally without an extra charge. They were also a lot cheaper and larger than an Edible Arrangement or larger chain.

Charge all electronics and buy batteries. No big deal if you don't have all the necessities. The hospital will have outlets and batteries. We also tried to make sure our iPhones were fully charged at all times when our due date got closer.

Purchase a bottle brush and baby safe soap. This was another thing we didn't do. My husband ran out to Walmart after we got home with Jack to buy both of these items. We like Palmolive Baby best.

Get a folder, binder, and notebook for all baby information. You will get a lot of information. You will also go on a lot of appointments. It's a good idea to keep all receipts for tax reimbursements. Jack has several specialists so we have lots of paperwork and even more questions. I keep a notebook handy for all the questions I may have to ask them.

Keep track of all the wonderful things happening during your pregnancy! I am a picture taker. I try and keep track of everything exciting that happens in our lives and pregnancy was no exception. I currently have a photo book project in Shutterfly that tracked my pregnancy. I like to keep the projects open because you never know when a 50% coupon may arrive in your inbox.

Water proof your bed, couch and car! A friend of mine warned me about this and I'm so glad I took her suggestion. My water broke as I was about to sit on my couch. I'm so glad I had extra covers on my couch. I also made sure to cover the bed (although I could barely sleep in it towards the end), I had extra towels with me at work and in my car just in case!

Install and assemble all baby items you may need. When Jack came home from the hospital we had all the larger items put together. Our cradle, MamaRoo, Pack and Play and co sleeper were all ready to go. We knew we would be using all of the above items so putting them together made the most sense for us. We did not put together some of the other smaller items and we didn't wash all of the clothes we were given as gifts. We didn't use a lot of items we received like the Ergo insert (it was way to cold to bring Jack out on walks and we tried to put him in it once. He hated it.) The items we didn't use we exchanged for diapers, wipes and other necessities.

Relax and pamper yourself! I didn't do enough of this when I was pregnant but when I did get a pedicure it felt like heaven! It did however bring on some contractions for me. A good friend of mine had a pedicure and went into labor with her twins. My feet hurt so bad towards the end I would have paid the girls extra just to rub my legs and feet.

Stock up on quick things to eat. I live in a 3 floor town house. We have LOTS of stairs. One of the first things the nurses tell you not to do is climb stairs after your birth so getting to and from the kitchen in our house was difficult. I made sure I had a stock of easy to carry food. I had granola bars, trail mix and pretzels close wherever I felt hungry.

Purchase thank you cards, print labels. I was shocked at the amounts of gifts we were given. Jack received gifts from family, friends, friend's families, children I work with, neighbors and coworkers. I had picked up a few thanks you cards (16) and ended up having to pick up 3 more packages!!! I had printed some labels ahead of time as well. We were so lucky. Jack is very spoiled.

Create diaper stations on each floor. Like I mentioned our 3 floor town house isn't the ideal spot for new moms. My sister in law brought over her extra changing table and my husband set up a changing table on our main floor. We have separate stations. We have diapers, wipes, ointment, lotions, changes of clothes and anything for new baby on both floors. We did sacrifice some of the room on our main floor but its well worth it. Isn't that what parenthood is all about anyway?

Bookmark your favorite birth announcements. We did not know what we were having so I had looked up several birth announcements before Jack arrived. I bookmarked my favorite gender neutral, girl and boy announcements. Once our newborn pictures were done it was easy to put them together and place an order. Don't forget the coupon codes if you order from Shutterfly or Snapfish. Coupon codes are all over.

Enjoy a nice dinner. We just happened to wait till the very last night as a family of 2 for this fancy dinner. About 6 hours after our nice dinner Jack began his journey into the world. My suggestion would be to avoid the very last few days to indulge in a nice dinner. It may be a while before you can do it again.


Hope this list will help you. Please remember every mommy and every baby are so very different. If you are expecting you will see tons of posts like this one and get even more advice from everyone; friends, family and even complete strangers from the supermarket. Find your own way, recover in your own time and take care of yourself and baby. Most of all enjoy the journey.

Returning To Work After Baby

I've been back to work for over a month and while it has not been easy or fun we have gotten our schedule in order and it seems to fit for us. Our mornings are hectic as to be expected. No matter how early we wake up I always feels like I'm rushing around. I usually end up realizing I didn't eat breakfast on my drive to work. It will get easier, I hope, or at least I hope to find a good balance.

It was not easy returning to work. Missing my little boy was the hardest part. The other inconveniences were definitely not fitting into any of my pre pregnancy work clothes and getting used to pumping at my desk.

Here are just a few tips and suggestions on how I made going back to work and how I made pumping a little more bearable.

- You will cry and it's is perfectly normal. I treated myself to a Starbucks in hopes that it would make it better. It didn't help but it was tasty!

- Invest in a Medela breast pump. Mine was free through our insurance company.

- Don't feel guilty. Don't let others make you feel guilty for going back either.

- Purchase extra pump parts to leave at work. You will find getting out of the house each day is tough and the less things you need to remember the better!

- Waterless wipes help immensely! They conveniently clean your pump parts quickly!

- Stick to your pumping schedule if you have one. If not pump as often as you feel comfortable. By law you have the right to pump upon returning to work. It's very tough and I find myself having difficulty sticking to it most of the time. I try to pump 3-4 times at work and during my commute.

- Make sure your employer and your HR department know you plan to pump before you go back so they can make arrangements. My HR department offered a mini fridge for my office to store milk.

- Get a hand free nursing bra. This is the one I've been using. Many people also make their own by cutting slits in their sports bras. This is a much cheaper suggestion.

- Don't compare yourself to other moms! Be proud of yourself and all of your little victories.  Trust me, just getting out of bed after waking up every 3 hours is a little victory!

- Try to freeze some breast milk before going back to work just in case. Pick up some formula just in case. I got free samples after signing up with Similac. We stayed with Similac because it was given to Jack to supplement while we were in the hospital. Our pediatrician also gave us free samples.

- Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't doubt yourself and your abilities or supply. The less stress you have the more you can pump.

- Bring an article of baby's clothing, blanket or something that smells like your baby. hold it when you pump. I've heard this may help your supply.

- Look at your baby's picture or a video while your pumping.

- It's OK. It's ok to be tired. It's ok to supplement with formula if you aren't producing enough. It's ok to be sad you're leaving your little one. It's ok if you don't have everything in order or if your don't have a schedule in place or if you can't stick to it.

We are all so different. No one new mom does everything perfectly and if she does I want to meet her and pick her brain. Hopefully these simple tips will help some new moms on their journey back to work.

How Do You Reward Yourself?

As a new mom I'm trying my hardest to find a balance between being the best mom I can be, being a good wife and being a good employee with out losing myself along the way. I am not ashamed to admit I have found it difficult treating myself well. Only going back to work for 4 days has also made an impact on our wallets so spending any unnecessary money has been outlawed around here. Before baby I would think nothing of rewarding myself with a trip to the mall and spending lots of cash on a outfits, shoes and accessories.

Since I haven't treated myself to much since January I decided it was about time to do something for me; really pamper myself. This past weekend I decided to reward myself with a new haircut. Not only did I get a cut and color but I left Jack with my mom for the day and treated myself a Starbucks.  I went all out cutting 7 inches off! I also went several shades lighter and added a few highlights.

The verdict is still out on whether on not I like it. I think it's just a shocking. I love my stylist but she overbooked herself and completely forgot about me under the dryer. My highlights were platinum blonde and I needed her to re dye my hair a bit darker. I think I need to get used to it but its a fun cut and it will be perfect for the summer.  

I was nice to spend some time on me. I can't deny I thought of Jack most of the time I was away from him. I was lucky enough to sit near a mom of a 3 year old who was also treating herself to a new cut and color. We talked about our little boys and how much we loved being mommies. We also spent time talking about the importance of treating ourselves to something that make us feel good. It isn't often that we find time to be kind to ourselves.

As a new mom with extra weight, and clothes that don't fit I find it easier to beat myself up rather than be kind. This past Saturday was about me.  It was my reward for doing a good job being a mommy and wife.

So tell me how do you reward yourself?

Do you indulge on a new outfit, a manicure, a date night?


I'm participating in the "Give Yourself a Raise Campaign" hosted by Raise a new online marketplace to buy and sell gift cards. The reason for the campaign is to focus on the importance of rewarding yourself for all the hard work you do put into everyday. 

Wishing I Could Be a Stay At Home Mom

I'm going back to work April 1st. I can barely think about it with out overwhelming sadness. I've been crying a lot lately knowing that my days of maternity leave are dwindling. I can't imagine the day when I can't cuddle with my little man whenever I want. Jack currently has an attachment to me. He laughs when I talk and turns his head to look for me. I have this terrible fear that when I go to work he will forget that and our bond will not be as close as it is. I currently leave at 9am and I don't get home till after 7. It just seems like way to long to be out of house and away from my sweet boy.

My entire life I wanted to have a successful job, big house, nice clothes and all that jazz. Since having Jack I would trade that all in just to be able to spend time with my son. None of that matters to me any more. When my brother and I were little my mother chose to stay home with us. She quit a successful job in Manhattan to stay home with us until my brother was 8 and I was 10 years old. We did not have the newest clothes (mostly hand me downs), we never had brand name things, we didn't take a lot of vacations but we always had our mom there for us. I wouldn't trade that experience for the world and wish I could do the same with my Jack. I've been experiencing such guilt about bad money making decisions I've made in my past. If only I had looked to the future when planning out my life.

Combined with the guilty of poor money making decisions I worry about Jack's health. As it is Jack's daily breathing treatments take a large amount of time and they are taxing on all of us. They will only get harder as he gets older and is more mobile. Most days they last over 90 minutes, lots of tears on all our parts and usually conclude with a massive vomiting episode. Due to  the vomiting we have to plan feedings around all treatments.  It's nothing short of heartbreaking. I don't know how we are going to fit in a 10 hour work day in addition to his therapies.

I want to stay at home to care for Jack and all of his health needs. I want to be the one to take him to all his medical visits, there are a lot of them. I just don't know if it's in the cards for us at this time. I have no idea where to even start thinking about how we could afford to do it. I've been trying to come up with ways to make it all work but I could use your help.

So my question to any stay at home moms out there is how do you do it?

What sacrifices have you and your family made?

Any suggestions on how to do it?

New Mommy Favorites

As a new mom I will admit I was pretty oblivious to how many items and just how much work a how much work newborn really is.  Jack is a pretty easy going baby and he only cries at night or when he isn't close to mommy.  I feel like I'm always on the move; feeding, pumping, dishes, cleaning an its usually in that cycle all day long.  Im lucky that Brian is so hands on and is able to help after work. All of this plus trying to remember to take care of myself has been tough.  Here are just a few of the items that have been helpful to me as a new mom.

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Pump and Save Bags have been easy to store and freeze. I started off using the Medela brand but just found the Target brand is a few bucks cheaper. Target does it again!

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Organic Nipple Covers- These are reusable and much better for my wallet and the environment

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Green Sprouts Burp Clothes- Jack is a spitter. These are the best I've used. They are longer, thicker wider and are shaped better than any others I have used. 

LL Bean XL Canvas Tote- It's HUGE and is perfect for a long day out when my regular diaper bag is too small. 

Via

Medela Hands Free Pumping bra- I've found pumping to be tedious and boring. At least with this I have been able to have contact with Jack and even bottle feed him. Yay for multitasking mommas! 

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Quick Clean Wipes- These are always in our diaper bag. The are easy to use especially on the go.  

Here are just a few more things that have come in handy: 

- Large water bottle because it keeps the trips back to the kitchen down to a minimum.

- Trail mix, granola bars, pretzels and other easy to grab and go snacks.

- Dermaplast and Tucks pads- After the pain of a natural birth there are not too many things that make you feel good down there but these 2 items definitely helped.  My hospital supplied them but I would suggest purchasing them because I used 2 of each packages.  They were a huge help.

- Yoga pants, open front top/robe- I prefer the the roll down waist yoga pants but I pull them up over my tummy.  The open front tops were helpful when pumping and nursing.

- Nursing Cover- After Jack was born we had non stop visitors which made it difficult to pump and nurse comfortably. I also bring it along wherever I go just in case.

What are some items new moms have found helpful?

Jack's Favorite Baby Items

I can't believe my little man is already 6 weeks old. I've heard the saying "The days are long but years are short" and it is so very true.  In the last several weeks we have had the joy of playing with and utilizing all new baby items.  These are a few of our favorites.  

Throw Blanket- Jack loves to cuddle with this blanket. It was a gift from his aunt and uncle for Christmas. They purchased it at Home Goods. I had seen it weeks before and fell in love but didn't buy it wight he holidays fast approaching.  

Halo Sleepsack Swaddle- Jack was not the bigger fan of being swaddled and would get out of any blankets I swaddled him in. The sleep sack swaddle worked perfect for him. I felt comfortable with him sleeping in the sack while on his back. He has been a roller since birth and it scared this new mommy. Our pediatrician suggested swaddles to help reduce him rolling and it worked. 

Organic Cotton Mittens- I have a face pincher. When Jack is upset he pulls and scratches at his face. He has drawn blood several times and its heartbreaking. Although he does not like them he wears them especially on the overnight hours. 

Skip-Hop Treetop Friends Activity Mat- This is a new love for Jack. Since he started focus on things this has become so much fun for him.  He talks to his little hanging friends too. 

Baby Delight Snuggle Nest- We both love sleeping close to our little man. He's not as thrilled with it. He would much rather sleep on me or Brian. We put the snuggle nest in bed with us and its super easy and portable to bring along with us when we have stayed at grandma and grandpa's house. The nightlight and sounds are perfect when soothing him to sleep or finding his pacifier in the middle of the night. 

Weleda Diaper Cream- I had an abundance of butt paste and many other items for diaper care but when I used this as a sample I was so happy with this produce. It is pricy ($14) but all the other diaper creams don't hold a candle to this one.  

Sleep sheep- We love the Sleep Sheep. We are a fan of the whale sounds. I think my husband likes it even more than little Jack does. There are several other sound options like mother's heartbeat and ocean waves. It is very soothing for us all. 

4 Moms- Momma Roo This item is by far the best we have in our house. Jack hates sleeping on his back. Most nights he hates being in his snuggle nest and co sleeper. He loves the slope of the this and sleeps so sound when he's in it. The motion of the car ride is his favorite. Last night he slept 9 hours in his Momma Roo. It was wonderful. 

Tommy Tippee Bottles- These have been a life saver. Jack's reflux has improved greatly since investing in these. Dr. Brown's bottles have also worked well but I've noticed a big difference since using these. Plus I find these easier than the Dr. Brown's to clean. 

Boon Drying Rack with accessories- These are perfect. They take up little space on the counter but holds almost all of Jack's bottle items. Plus it's super cute. 

All photos and items found here 

Green Sprouts Burp Clothes- Goodness gracious the amount of spit up is insane! I swear there is a burp cloth with in arm's reach at all times. If not I have been caught using my sleeve and even pillow case. Have I mentioned how much more laundry we do since baby arrived? 

What are some of your favorite items?

Check back tomorrow because I'll be sharing some of my new mom favorites.