The Happiness Project, Week 2

Last Thursday I began my journey with the happiness project. I linked up with Scenic Glory and chose to DESTRESS for week one of the project. I wish I could say I did a good job but I didn'tdo that well.  It was a stressful week. It was a stress roller coaster. I tried my very best but did find myself again, consumed by it on some days. I did, however, take several steps to try and relieve the stress I was feeling.

I think the most important thing I did this week was recognize the stressful situations. I was proud of myself because at least I was able to identify and attempt to remove myself from the issue to take some measures to reduce the amount of anguish I would feel because of it.

The beginining of the project seemed to be the easiest. I thought up a few lists of things I loved and enjoyed doing, then a list of the negative things I do when I'm stressed. This was a helpful way I was able to identify my problems and how to fix them.

Identifying what are my major stress factors
-Work
-Fiance, don't get me wrong I love him to death but he can be a huge stressor
-Family, especially with my mom out of town I have had to spend extra time with my father. Plus my brother and I are still not on speaking terms.
-Money limitations due to saving for the wedding

The negative ways I react to the above:
-I eat to comfort myself, not usually with healthy food either
-CRY
-Yell
-Shut myself down
-Pick fights and argue
-Get down on myself/Beat myself up

The things I enjoy and can use to help relax me:
-Shop
-Do my nails
-Run, walk, exercise,sports
-Get my hair done
-Play with Bogart
-Planning the wedding, such a double edge sword!!!

I think I did pretty during the first couple of days. I made it a point to get out and work out each night. We played with the dog, went for walks, played basketball and baseball. I also ate healthy all week. By Saturday all of the positive things got flushed right down the sh*tter. I got into a HUGE arguement and it was very unhealthy. I could feel myself flying off the handle. My heart began racing. I cried, ALOT! Clearly you can see all the issues discussed above were coming through. I finally seperated myself from the situation. I went shopping. I purchased a few items for myself, all on sale so that made me feel pretty good! I didn't have shopper remorse because sometimes that is so much worse. I also picked up some new nail polish to give myself a mani, pedi. I did find myself sitting in a Panera all alone Saturday night crying in my soup bowl because I was all alone. There are few things sadder then eating all alone. By Sunday I tried to forget the issues of the night before although it was very hard. This wasn't something I could completely fix in just one week. This is my biggest issue so I must contine to master it. From Sunday on it was rather stress free week. By Wednesday evening I really felt HAPPY inside. Not everything is perfect and I don't think things are perfect for everyone all the time but something inside felt right. I hope it continues. Today I feel renewed!
In addition I have found myself carrying the past with me which is sometimes an antecedent to the stress I'm feeling. I have a hard time letting go and I do hold terrible grudges. For week two I have decided to start working on LETTING GO OF THE PAST!