Save Your Drama For Ya Momma and Not Your Mom Group

How 1990's is this post title? Just thinking of it I can't help but think of Maury or the Ricki Lake show! So dating myself with this! Either way it was the perfect segway into my post. I'm still kind of in disbelief as to what happened in a mom group I recently joined.

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I was invited into a local mom group via Facebook by a friend who I have known for 10 years. First off the group seemed like fun. Moms would create events for local activities that moms and little ones could participate in. I loved the idea of the events and it makes it easy to see what is available in our community. Most of the moms stay at home so you can imagine all the activities take place during my work week. It was difficult for me to attend many of the activities as my work schedule stinks during the week. I'm off 1 day a week I am off to take Jack to his specialist over an hour away and I really can't commit to anything.

A few weekends ago I was happy to be able to attend an event in a local park to visit Santa and support the local food pantry. Although I decided to attend the event for the safety of myself and my son I don't RSVP to any Facebook type event. In my opinion I don't trust people knowing exactly where and when I'm going to be places. Other moms feel fine with it and some others actually post there address for playdates. Not my scene but to each there own. The safety of Jack is most important.

Fast forward to a few days after this event. A mom posts on the group that she thinks it is important to get rid of members who "refuse" to attend events. She demanded that mothers must attend 2 events in 1 month in order to stay in the group. She requested moms respond so I did. I made mention that as a working mom who doesn't get home to 7:30 at night it was difficult to adhere to the new guidelines. I also made mention that the winter and indoor activities are not my first choice as Jack can get sick very easily. I stated my case in hopes that moms would understand other moms and their difficulty to commit whether it's their job, illness or even as simple as nap times.

What comes next was quite a shock. A mom (an active group mom) responds to my comment is the most rude and inconsiderate way. She stated (I wish I could have screen shot it but the admins deleted the post.)  in some similar verbiage: I'm going to sound rude and I don't care. Stop making excuses and show up! I was pissed! How dare she be so rude? How dare she make so light of my life and the things that hold me back from attending things with my son. Naturally I wanted to go back at her and not care if I was being rude but I didn't. I held my head high and ignored almost everything that came after. Apparently, other moms didn't react well to her nasty comment towards me and proceeded to leave the group. I was also tempted to leave the group. Shortly after the admin explained that rules of the group would not change. Clearly, they get it.  A lot of members left and I'm toying with the idea of it still. Although I like the idea of knowing events in our local area I have no time for high school drama or moms who are not supportive of other moms. Isn't that the idea, moms supporting other moms? I really buy into the "It takes a village" ideal. It really, truly does! Moms should build up other moms rather than tear them down no matter the circumstance.

I guess I just needed to get that off my chest.

Am I being over sensitive?

Wishing I Could Be a Stay At Home Mom

I'm going back to work April 1st. I can barely think about it with out overwhelming sadness. I've been crying a lot lately knowing that my days of maternity leave are dwindling. I can't imagine the day when I can't cuddle with my little man whenever I want. Jack currently has an attachment to me. He laughs when I talk and turns his head to look for me. I have this terrible fear that when I go to work he will forget that and our bond will not be as close as it is. I currently leave at 9am and I don't get home till after 7. It just seems like way to long to be out of house and away from my sweet boy.

My entire life I wanted to have a successful job, big house, nice clothes and all that jazz. Since having Jack I would trade that all in just to be able to spend time with my son. None of that matters to me any more. When my brother and I were little my mother chose to stay home with us. She quit a successful job in Manhattan to stay home with us until my brother was 8 and I was 10 years old. We did not have the newest clothes (mostly hand me downs), we never had brand name things, we didn't take a lot of vacations but we always had our mom there for us. I wouldn't trade that experience for the world and wish I could do the same with my Jack. I've been experiencing such guilt about bad money making decisions I've made in my past. If only I had looked to the future when planning out my life.

Combined with the guilty of poor money making decisions I worry about Jack's health. As it is Jack's daily breathing treatments take a large amount of time and they are taxing on all of us. They will only get harder as he gets older and is more mobile. Most days they last over 90 minutes, lots of tears on all our parts and usually conclude with a massive vomiting episode. Due to  the vomiting we have to plan feedings around all treatments.  It's nothing short of heartbreaking. I don't know how we are going to fit in a 10 hour work day in addition to his therapies.

I want to stay at home to care for Jack and all of his health needs. I want to be the one to take him to all his medical visits, there are a lot of them. I just don't know if it's in the cards for us at this time. I have no idea where to even start thinking about how we could afford to do it. I've been trying to come up with ways to make it all work but I could use your help.

So my question to any stay at home moms out there is how do you do it?

What sacrifices have you and your family made?

Any suggestions on how to do it?