Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Guest Post- Molly from Life is (GRAND)

Hello, fellow Pretty Rambles readers! My name is Molly and you can usually find me blogging about my nerdy obsessions and my dog over at life is (grand). While Kristina is away being an absolutely beautiful bride, I thought I would share with you what I learned in my first not-quite-year as a newlywed.
My husband Kyle and I met while doing theatre in college. We dated for 4 years, and were married on August 6th, 2011. I feel like life hasn't slowed down since, but honestly, there is no one I would rather share this crazy mess of a life with.

5 Things I Learned Being a Newlywed
1) Your crazy, insane premarital life will still be crazy and insane---if not more so.
The year leading up to our wedding was packed full of huge events---college graduations, moving, starting new jobs, losing said-job (me), and planning a wedding while dealing with unemployment. Call me crazy, but I thought that after we got married, life would slow down. Spoiler Alert: It doesn't. Although I wish our first few months of wedded bliss would have been a little more blissful and a little less chaotic, it only served to further solidify that we are strongest together.
2) Let it go.
Sometimes, Kyle and I argue. 99% of the time, it's over really pointless debates. We can both be a bit on the stubborn side when we want to be. If I've learned anything in these past 8 months, it's that I don't always have to be right. (Shocking, I know.) Sometimes, it's better to just keep my mouth shut. Do I really want to spend the majority of our evening together pissed off because he didn't take out the trash before he left for work? No. Am I probably just projecting anger because I had a long day at work and I'm cranky? Yes. If I've had a bad day at work, there is no use having a bad evening at home as well. As I always say, "Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things." Ok, so I don't always say that, but they're words to live by.
3) He will probably always leave cupboards open, drawers ajar, and chairs not pushed in---and that's ok.
And I will probably always squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube. Basically, there will always be those little quirks and habits that get on each others' nerves. Make an effort to adjust, and make compromises. Good, constructive communication is key---don't expect your spouse to be a mind reader.
4) It's still ok to feel sad.
Shortly after we got married, I found myself in a bit of a rut. I was grateful to be working again after a summer of unemployment, but I was extremely stressed by new job. And for me, prolonged stress often leads to depression. This time was no different. I felt so guilty. Here I was, newly-married to my supportive and caring husband, and I felt sad all. the. time. What was the matter with me? I hated that my onset of depression directly correlated with getting married, because it had absolutely nothing to do with our new marriage. It took me months to realize that just because I have a wonderful husband and a strong marriage doesn't mean that life can't still suck sometimes. I'm just so grateful to Kyle for helping me get through this tough time.
5) Laugh more.
This sounds cliche, but it really is true. Whether we're laughing at a rerun of Seinfeld or at our impressions of celebrities (which are not very good), it's just such a great way to unwind. When we're laughing together, I feel true contentment and at peace with whatever life will throw our way.
What other advice do you newlyweds have?
Thanks for reading! Be sure to stop by and say hi!
Love, Molly

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