Monday, October 17, 2011

Getting serious for a bit...

So I'm usually as positive as I can allow myself especially in the blog world. I don't necessarily think or know if readers want to hear about other people and their struggles all the time. I know we all have our personal struggles. I don't know why I feel the need to share this but its something that I have been having an internal battle with. I guess I'm hoping that by releasing it I will feel better? Or maybe my faithful readers have some inspiration or support to make me feel better or even tell me I'm being an over reactive idiot. Today, I am struggling with the right words. I also struggle with hitting the publish post button. Should I say this? Keep it as a draft? Post and delete later?

(I don't want to use any names. Sorry for the descriptives. Hope its not to confusing)
Over the weekend B and I were invited to a bonfire by one of his very good friends. I was actually looking forward to it. We haven't seen his friend since the summer and I LOVE bonfires! The evening was going well. Lots of laughter and funny stories. Friend's much younger sister, 19, was intoxicated (the only one who had been drinking) and was acting silly but harming no one. At one point several people had to move their vehicles to let some one out of the driveway. B was one of them. Friend's drunk sis and sober sis also went along. Sober sis returns but drunk sis and B were not back yet. Friend asked sober sis where drunk sis was and she responded saying she jumped in B's car as he was moving it. (They were concerned and didn't want her sneaking anymore to drink) Sober sis left her with B because she knew he would make sure that didn't take place. Upon their arrival back drunk sis looks at me and says "Kristina, You have such a good fiance. I tried making out with him and he wouldn't have it".  WOW, I can't even explain the feelings going through my head. Even sober sis patted me on the shoulder to make sure I was ok. Everyone there was shocked. I know B is a great man and he wouldn't have it but still. It was like a kick in the stomach. I didn't know how to react to something like that. I was hurt, shocked and sad. I also didn't want to say anything because her brother is B's best friend and she was drunk. I ignored it but inside I felt pretty disgusted but more embarrassed than anything else. Later that night while B was adding wood to the fire she grabbed his behind and hugged him. Yet again even more embarrassed.

I guess I'm feeling down because I'm not 19, beautiful, and perky. I know I should be grateful that B did not accept any of her advances. I should just brush it off as a young girl who had to much to drink acting silly but I can't. I should focus how great a guy B really is and that I'm lucky enough to marry some one who is so good. Deep down it hits a cord. I usually feel not good enough and have serious self esteem I deal with pretty often. Plain and simple it just hurts. Before dating B I had been cheated on by an ex numberous times and that feeling of inadequacy still ligers from time to time. I actually feel like I'm over reacting but friends tell me I didn't react enough! I wish I knew the right way to feel.


Chelsea @ {twotwentyone} said...

My oh my. If I were you I would have put that 19 year old in her place. Even if I wasn't you and I was your friend who was there and saw this and saw that you couldn't react, I would have reacted for you. That little chick needs to know whats up. You don't try to make passes with another girl's fiance, especially in front of his fiancee. Hello! Perhaps you would have felt better if you went off on her, but perhaps you wouldn't have felt better. On all accounts, going off on her would have been valid.

Have you talked to B about this? And how you're feeling? That may make you feel better. But I completely know what you mean-- I'm not 19 anymore either (although my best year was 20, ha!). Don't let this chick get you down.

A said...

Wow, for once I was initially at a loss for words.

She sounds like she has some serious issues. That's probably the only thing that would keep me sane.

You have to have problems, in order to do something so completely disrespectful, in front of one's fiancee, family and friends.

I kind of have pity (I think that's the feeling) for girls like this.

Popcorn, Pugs & Peonies said...

Kristina, wow! Where to start. This is my 2 cents (for what it is worth). What drunk girl did was wrong. It doesn't matter that she is only 19, was drunk, and is your fiance's best friend's sister. It is not only wrong, but it needs to be addressed. Marriage is serious business. She totally disregarded (and disrespected) the commitment that you are about to enter. She is obviously immature (she bragged about making a move on your man to you), but it is no excuse. Not only that, but she grabbed his behind in front of you? Totally unacceptable.

You have every right to be mad and disgusted here (and you have no reason to be embarrassed). She is the one who should feel embarrassed. If it were me, I would want my fiance to discuss this with her. If you let this go, it is not only going to eat at you inside, you are always going to wonder what other tactics she has in store, since she clearly is not respectful of your relationship. She owes both you and your fiance an apology. I would not want to be around her again (or want my fiance around her at all) if that didn't happen.

You are definitely NOT overreacting here. Trust me, ignoring these actions is basically leaving the door open for something to happen again. Your fiance needs to set clear boundaries with her.

The Vintage Modern Bride said...

first off, eff her! excuse my language but lady, you ARE beautiful and perky! better yet, you're not an immature 19 year old, but a WOMAN! a HOT woman whom your fiance loves and adores! next time, i'd say something to her, but even so, know that he loves you so much and bri would never hurt you.

i think you should approach her now that she's sober and tell her that there will not be another next time for her to be inappropriate around him. you're right, you didn't react enough- and i don't blame ya cuz i'm sure you were shocked. but i really do think it's for the best that you tell her now. being drunk is not an excuse for being a skank!

Post a Comment

I absolutely love hearing from you. Leave some love!