Monday, November 4, 2013

I'm Feeling a Bit Defeated

I'm not really sure what is up with me lately but I'm feeling so defeated by a lot of things. I honestly think it is just some of those crazy hormones, anxiety, sickness, discomfort and lack of sleep that have really been getting to me lately. I've been so lucky to have a great pregnancy and although the discomforts that every pregancy has snuck up on me the last few weeks I really can't complain to much. I know all the aches and discomforts I feel are all because our baby is growing strong. Just keeping my mind on January makes it easier to cope. With that being said I've been experiencing so many feelings and emotions and I'm really finding it hard to keep the tears at bay.

I think it all started last weekend. I began feeling yucky. I took a hike with my husband and I couldn't believe how my body would not cooperate with my brain. I could barely make it up any of the hills on the trail. I was completely out of breathe and I felt pretty ashamed of myself. When we got home I crashed on the couch for hours. At about 3 am I woke up with a raging fever and sore throat. I knew right away it was strep throat or something close to it. By the end of the day I was diagnosed with strep throat and put on Amoxicillian. It took 2 full days to break my fever. As of today I've been on the antibiotics for 7 days. I still feel terrible. The coughing has upset the hernia in my tummy and has all around knocked me on my butt. Even today I feel like I'm living in a fog.

Last Wednesday I started experiencing intense lower back pain. I had no idea how serious something like this could be when pregnant. I suffered through the discomfort until I told a staff member of mine and she was very concerned. She has a 3 year old and I trusted her experience. I called the doctor and before I knew it I was rushing to the hospital, hooked up to every test and monitor. It seems that this little one has taken residence extremely low for only 29 weeks (as of last Wednesday) This is what was causing the pain. Luckily, baby's heart sounds good and no real contractions registered on the monitor. Since then I am completely freaked out. I'm so afraid my body will some how fail this baby and something wrong will happen. I have a follow up this Thursday. Hoping baby has not dropped much more. If you are new to my blog you may not know of my miscarriage in March and my ectopic pregnancy back in June 2012. I'm so terrified that something will go wrong. I've gotten even more freaked out by the reaction of my husband. He is not good in any type of crisis situations. It was evident Wednesday night. He was a blank slate. Didn't say a word. He was barely comforting. I know he probably wasn't able to help it but how to do you tell a person they aren't supportive when you need it? I can't imagine what labor will be like when the sh*t really hits the fan.

I feel like a lot of my feeling are caused by lack of sleep. I have been having some tough nights sleeping and my husband is as well. I've been woken up 3 times in the last week by my husband who feels the need to tell me I'm snoring. I have made it very clear how cruel it is to wake up a pregnant woman. I have also made it clear if he does it again I may kill him, painfully!!!

Please tell me I'm not the only one who is dealing with stuff like this?
From our hike last weekend.
Although I seem a bit out of it lately I'm glad I got to enjoy some of the last bits of the season change.

1 comment:

Jen said...

Hugs friend!!!!!

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