Today marks the end of my mini stay-cation. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sad. Although it was short I did get to spend 6 days with my little man. We did lots of little things and I had a great time just being with him. I sometimes think I don't have much in the way of postpartum depression but on mornings like this when I say goodbye to my son I feel awful. There is a pit in my stomach and a lump in my throat. Is it postpartum? Is it separation anxiety or is it just normal? I haven't spent more than 3 times in a social setting with out Jack and I don't really have a desire to. Since having Jack I hate going to work. I used to love it so much. I found myself spending years taking care of other people's children and now I just want to stay home and take care of my child. I've been back to work for 4 months and I haven't found that it gets any easier. It still sucks everyday. Does this type of feeling go away or does it last forever?
Although I'm sad to be going back to work I have to try and focus on how much fun we had together. We made lots of memories, spent time with family, friends and took Jack to new places. We even got to spend time with my mom who was hospitalized last week. Thankfully she is doing much better and the doctors finally think they know what has been plaguing her since October. I'll break down our week together in the coming days.