There are moments in our lives that seem to make very little sense. Moments that are sheer joy that quickly turn to immense sadness with little to no explanation why. A few weeks back we were pleasantly surprised with two little lines on a pregnancy test. In all actuality it was about 6 lines because I didn't really expect it so I took numerous tests with the same results, a big fat positive. A week later I was pretty surprised with an OB office test results were negative. This led to several blood tests with the same conclusion. All my HCG levels decreased over time and several days later it was confirmed I was losing our baby. I wish I could say this is the first time and these feelings were new to me but they are not. Sadly, this is my third loss and they all hurt same. I've cried. I've asked why. I've doubted my body and I have blamed myself. This time I do have my Jack to remind me that miracles do happen and I have to stay positive. I have to rally for him to be a good mom for him. It is a blessing but it is also really hard when you have little to no time for self care when your body is fighting against you.
To anyone else going through this or have gone through it my heart is with you. I know your pain. I share your pain.