My Little Pot of Gold

Talk about smiling Irish eyes. It's funny because my little Italian/Irish baby looks more Irish every day. I think I see some hints of red or strawberry blond in his eyebrows. His hair still looks dark like daddy's hair. His eyes are definitely a gray, blue just like mine.

Happy St. Paddy's Day to all. Today Jack and I will be laying low. We got to celebrate with my parents yesterday and enjoyed corned beef, cabbage and soda bread too.

Jack's Birth Announcement Photos

I took it upon myself to take some photos of Jack that I ended up using as his birth announcement photos. Clearly, I am not a photographer but it was a fun little project for us to do together.  Here are just a few of my favorites.

We purchased Jack's personalized onsie here. 

Wishing I Could Be a Stay At Home Mom

I'm going back to work April 1st. I can barely think about it with out overwhelming sadness. I've been crying a lot lately knowing that my days of maternity leave are dwindling. I can't imagine the day when I can't cuddle with my little man whenever I want. Jack currently has an attachment to me. He laughs when I talk and turns his head to look for me. I have this terrible fear that when I go to work he will forget that and our bond will not be as close as it is. I currently leave at 9am and I don't get home till after 7. It just seems like way to long to be out of house and away from my sweet boy.

My entire life I wanted to have a successful job, big house, nice clothes and all that jazz. Since having Jack I would trade that all in just to be able to spend time with my son. None of that matters to me any more. When my brother and I were little my mother chose to stay home with us. She quit a successful job in Manhattan to stay home with us until my brother was 8 and I was 10 years old. We did not have the newest clothes (mostly hand me downs), we never had brand name things, we didn't take a lot of vacations but we always had our mom there for us. I wouldn't trade that experience for the world and wish I could do the same with my Jack. I've been experiencing such guilt about bad money making decisions I've made in my past. If only I had looked to the future when planning out my life.

Combined with the guilty of poor money making decisions I worry about Jack's health. As it is Jack's daily breathing treatments take a large amount of time and they are taxing on all of us. They will only get harder as he gets older and is more mobile. Most days they last over 90 minutes, lots of tears on all our parts and usually conclude with a massive vomiting episode. Due to  the vomiting we have to plan feedings around all treatments.  It's nothing short of heartbreaking. I don't know how we are going to fit in a 10 hour work day in addition to his therapies.

I want to stay at home to care for Jack and all of his health needs. I want to be the one to take him to all his medical visits, there are a lot of them. I just don't know if it's in the cards for us at this time. I have no idea where to even start thinking about how we could afford to do it. I've been trying to come up with ways to make it all work but I could use your help.

So my question to any stay at home moms out there is how do you do it?

What sacrifices have you and your family made?

Any suggestions on how to do it?

Jack 2 Months

I can't believe Jack is already 2 months old (and a few days)Jack is growing so strong and he changes everyday. I can't believe I lived so long with out him in my life. He makes everyday better. He makes everyday happier. He is the light of my life.

Weight and Height- Jack now 10 pounds 3 ounces.  We have increased his food intake as his doctors were concerned his weight was not increasing like it should.  He went up 13 ounces since last week.  We are thrilled.  Jack is also 22 inches long!

Health- Jack continues to go back to his specialist. We met with his respiratory specialist too. She has put Jack on a nebulizer 2 times a day followed up by percussion therapy where we hit his back with cup like paddles.  It has been a lot for us. My husband is calm about everything but I cry every time its done.  Jack doesn't like one portion of the nebulizer treatment and screams through it making it heartbreaking to listen to. The treatment will help loosen the mucus in his lungs.  The treatment takes over an hour each time. We do have great news though, He does not need enzyme therapy!!!! His body is working well! We are thrilled! We are all about little victories around here lately! 

Sleep- Jack is a great sleeper. He  was sleeping through the night. We have to wake him up every 4 hours to feed him. 

Crying- Jack barely cries. He is such a happy little boy. He cries during his treatment but when he isn't crying he giggles through it. He is my little champion. His strength for such a little man inspires me every second of the day. 

Clothes- Jack is too long for newborn but still a little too small for 3 month clothes. 

Feedings- Breast milk and I've had to supplement with some formula. I hate that but I'm just not pumping enough for him. I pump every 2 hours and barely get 3 ounces. I'm taking Fenugreek and drinking Mother's Milk tea in hopes of increasing. Jack's nutritionist is glad I've started to supplement. She thinks the stress of breast feeding was causing stress that was impacting my supply negatively 

Routine- It took some time but we are in a routine. Mommy feeds him and pumps every 2 hours. Jack has started taking a nap after his 8am feeding and usually sleeps until 11. Our night time routine is great. He gets in the bath and it wakes him up nicely so he is tired by the time we go to sleep. This is usually up until 11 or 12 and I've been waking him to eat at 4am. 

Social- He is so incredibly happy and friendly. He goes to anyone and enjoys being held by every one. He loves his activity mat. He chats it up with his hanging friends. He choos and smiles at me all the time. He loves listening to me sing to him (I don't know why. I'm a terrible singer)

Guy's night with his bff Michael. 

Jack's first party

Laying in his crib for naps. 

First trip out for dinner with mom and dad.  He did great.  

With great grandma

At the doctor.

Look how much he has grown.  

Getting so big. 

Rare Disease Day

Today is Rare Disease Day.  I never thought that this would be a day that would affect me or my family.  Last month I posted about or little Jack's diagnosis of Cystic Fibrosis. You can read it here. Since than we have done our very best to stay positive for our little man.  It hasn't been easy with multiple trips to the specialist, researching, learning about the disease, testing and therapies.  There are days I find myself feeling very down but I have no time for that. His therapies are just beginning and although he takes them like a champ I end up in hysterics.  There is just something unnatural about hitting on you 7 week old baby's back. His nebulizer treatments will begin soon and will continue for his lifetime. It's hard now especially knowing I have to go back to work next month. I want to be with him every waking second.  I want to hold his hand through it all.

We may not understand the hand we have been dealt in life but we have to play the game any way. It may not be what we expect in life but  it's beautiful none the less.

Scenes From Maternity Leave

Maternity leave has been nothing short of amazing and exhausting all wrapped into one. Jack will be 8 weeks old on March 5th. I can't believe how quickly it all has gone by. I'll have to go back to work on April 1st and it is already breaking my heart. What I wouldn't do to stay home with my little angel forever. 

So far this is what maternity leave looks like around these parts:

- Somedays I don't get a chance to brush my teeth till the afternoon.

- I'm lucky I get a shower every other day. 

- I've watched the 3 final seasons of One Tree Hill on Netflix. 

- Everything is done around feedings and pumping. 

- My boobs hurt more than I could have imagined. 

- Doing things one handed hasn't been good to my floors or  carpets. My carpets see more coffee, water, juice and food than my mouth does. 

- I see the 4am hour more than anyone should. 

- I've gotten very familiar with Law and Order SVU episodes. Marathons take place every Tuesday and Thursday. 

- We moved an accent table out of the living room and replaced it with a changing table. 

 - I eat like there is no tomorrow. 

- I bought a pair of jeans and yes they are 2 sizes bigger than I'd like. 

- Most of the time I only go out for Jack's doctor's appointments. 

- We started Jack's CPT therapy for his cystic fibrosis. I cry every time we do it. 

- Jack and I read all the time. 

- I sing to him and he likes it which amazes me because I really can't carry a tune. 

- We cuddle a lot and we try to nap before daddy gets home. 

- The days just fly by. 

- I forget things constantly. Like my credit card after spending $75 at Walmart and having to run home for my card. 

- I have cabin fever so bad! 

 - There are days when I'm covered in either poop, pee, formula or puke and I do't mind. 

- I've taken over 500+ pictures of Jack.

- I look at Jack in amazement. I still can't believe he is mine. 

- The relationship with my husband has gotten stronger than we could have ever imagined. 

- My heart feels like it could explode with joy every second of every day. 

New Mommy Favorites

As a new mom I will admit I was pretty oblivious to how many items and just how much work a how much work newborn really is.  Jack is a pretty easy going baby and he only cries at night or when he isn't close to mommy.  I feel like I'm always on the move; feeding, pumping, dishes, cleaning an its usually in that cycle all day long.  Im lucky that Brian is so hands on and is able to help after work. All of this plus trying to remember to take care of myself has been tough.  Here are just a few of the items that have been helpful to me as a new mom.

Via

Pump and Save Bags have been easy to store and freeze. I started off using the Medela brand but just found the Target brand is a few bucks cheaper. Target does it again!

Via

Organic Nipple Covers- These are reusable and much better for my wallet and the environment

via

Green Sprouts Burp Clothes- Jack is a spitter. These are the best I've used. They are longer, thicker wider and are shaped better than any others I have used. 

LL Bean XL Canvas Tote- It's HUGE and is perfect for a long day out when my regular diaper bag is too small. 

Via

Medela Hands Free Pumping bra- I've found pumping to be tedious and boring. At least with this I have been able to have contact with Jack and even bottle feed him. Yay for multitasking mommas! 

Via

Quick Clean Wipes- These are always in our diaper bag. The are easy to use especially on the go.  

Here are just a few more things that have come in handy: 

- Large water bottle because it keeps the trips back to the kitchen down to a minimum.

- Trail mix, granola bars, pretzels and other easy to grab and go snacks.

- Dermaplast and Tucks pads- After the pain of a natural birth there are not too many things that make you feel good down there but these 2 items definitely helped.  My hospital supplied them but I would suggest purchasing them because I used 2 of each packages.  They were a huge help.

- Yoga pants, open front top/robe- I prefer the the roll down waist yoga pants but I pull them up over my tummy.  The open front tops were helpful when pumping and nursing.

- Nursing Cover- After Jack was born we had non stop visitors which made it difficult to pump and nurse comfortably. I also bring it along wherever I go just in case.

What are some items new moms have found helpful?